I'm tired and should be sleeping right now but I really felt like sharing this today. The other day I had a complete breakdown and this is what I wrote in my journal:
Dear Journal,
I'm at the point where I'm too tired to care that I'm tired. I don't know who I am anymore. I'll be over him for days, even weeks and then something just snaps. And the songs I usually love make me weep. I stand in my closet, almost glaring at that one scarf hanging there mocking me. But I can't help but grab it. Then I can no longer take it and almost collapse under my own emotions. I cling to the door frame and clutch the scarf, which holds so much emotion, for dear life. If I let go of either, the results would be catastrophic. I just want to move on but I can't seem to let go. Of the door, the thought of it all. The happiness and fun that went along with it. Or the scarf, actually him and who he was and all of the things he made me feel. At this moment in time, I'm not sure which I'm afraid to let go.
I've been having a really rough time lately and I'm sure that journal makes little sense to anyone but me but for some reason, I need to share it.
-Christine
Monday, September 14, 2009
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Posted by Beachbum at 12:10 AM
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5 comments:
hellooo!!!!!1
i am sooo sorry i havnt postes in agess!
i have been such a lame person!!
sorry xxx
hows u been?
whts new??
love star xx
OMG you sound horribly hurt. beachbum, i've missed blogging so much, it hurts. i keep telling myself i don't care about it, yet i sometimes find myself eagerly reading the comments on my last post. and now i came here just to say hi, and you sound aweful! is everything ok?
hey, do you wanna go back to our "private conversation" for a little while?
hey star :) i've been okish, not wonderful though. how have you been?
GRIFFINRIDERRRR!!!!!
i am sooo glad you're kind of back. and yes, i'm quite hurt actually... it's not going well. and i will be getting on out private conversation in about three seconds lol. talk to you soon :)
-Christine <3
I haven't spoken to you for ages, I'm so sorry. ^^
I'm sorry life's not treating you so well recently and that the scarf (and all it entails) is so hard to let go of. Maybe over Christmas, somehow, it'll get easier. :/ x
Beachbun are you ok? Sorry I havent been on in ages!! Senior year was crazy as all get out, but I think I'll have more time to blog now that I'm back you should totally stop by some time so we can catch up.
Lotsa hugs and love,
Monkey Kid (Hasta Pasta!!)
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