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I'm tired and should be sleeping right now but I really felt like sharing this today. The other day I had a complete breakdown and this is what I wrote in my journal:

Dear Journal,
I'm at the point where I'm too tired to care that I'm tired. I don't know who I am anymore. I'll be over him for days, even weeks and then something just snaps. And the songs I usually love make me weep. I stand in my closet, almost glaring at that one scarf hanging there mocking me. But I can't help but grab it. Then I can no longer take it and almost collapse under my own emotions. I cling to the door frame and clutch the scarf, which holds so much emotion, for dear life. If I let go of either, the results would be catastrophic. I just want to move on but I can't seem to let go. Of the door, the thought of it all. The happiness and fun that went along with it. Or the scarf, actually him and who he was and all of the things he made me feel. At this moment in time, I'm not sure which I'm afraid to let go.

I've been having a really rough time lately and I'm sure that journal makes little sense to anyone but me but for some reason, I need to share it.
-Christine